a special smelly somebody :)

ok, so i haven't written anything on my blog in lets just say, ever. i mean sure i did start a blog and i did write a few post as it was starting out, but can we really call them post? they were seldom about anything important and the majority of it was spent on rambling about things beginning with different letters in the alphabet including doughnuts and ardvarks. The point is, i've never really had anything to motivate me, to compell me, to absolutely drive me to write something intriguing and meaningful as i intend to do on this blog.

it began as merely a combined attempt to yield some entertainment from an otherwise boring evening, or maybe as some kind of vanity project along the lines of "omg! blogging is all the rage now, let me go make one to see how many people read it!" and over a period of time i realised this; as well as the fact that i often found it annoyingly difficult to transcribe what goes on inside my head onto a computer screen, let alone write coherently whilst doing so, to the extent that working at Homebase, sleeping, and socialising on Facebook overwhelmed my motivation to continue blogging.

BUT WAIT! whats this your reading? :O could it be? is it true? LEWIS HAS RETURNED! lo and behold my almighty re-awakening! yes. i have now found motivation to continue my blog, and it could only come from one source...seeing as all the things i love, such as food, watching junk on ninjavideo, playing guitar and sleeping have no possible means of compelling me to write on my blog, because they are by nature things that are impossible to go into detail about on a post without seeming either obsessed or very strange, and at the same time boring the hell out of everyone. "today i had pizza for dinner! it was pepperoni...i like pizza!" get the idea? and seeing, as previously mentioned, its difficult for me to write randomly about things without any pre-ideas or plan as to what i was going to talk about, it is indeed the case that i have only returned tonight because of one person. and that person isss Stephen Hawking. o.O

not really :D its chantel! hehe, she is the only thing i think about everyday, that i have the ability to find motivation to write about and actually create posts about, as opposed to aaany other thing that i could possibly write about, which would require long laborious moments of deep thought as to how im going to structure my sentences and not bore all of my readers. i could talk about my day for example, but let me stop right there. i wake up, i go to work, work is always tiring and monotonous, i come home, the end. im already finished! and thats just one example. As usual, i'm taking the long route around the quick main point, which is that i need drive, and chantel gives me just that.

I don't need to plan, i don't need to fuss or worry about how good or bad my writing is, i don't need to sit around and think about how to best make use of my English language skills...because unlike anything else in my mind, chantel is always clear. Thoughts on her or about her arrive perfectly in my head and expressing them is equally as pleasingly easy and satisfying, because each time i express just a quanta of what i feel, the warmth and sanctuary that fills me up inside is inexpressably nice. I'm not the most confident person in the world, although my actions and how i act sometimes begs the contrary, i feel like i can be myself around her without ever having to question it because i might not seem cool or i might not be normal or usual. I'm completely free, and i feel safe.

I didn't have any real plan as to what i was going to say when i began writing this post, but what i did have on my side was my memories and the fact that chantel makes me feel on top of the world, and hopefully through reading this you can empathise with some of the warmth and comfort i experience through these feelings. I've never expressed my feelings for a person, or at least written any sort of dedication or message exclusively regarding somebody openly before, so excuse my cheesiness :D hehe although i may at some points try to digress or shift onto another interesting topic to balance out the extra mature cheddar, i don't think i'll be able to because there is nothing i would rather talk about than the past two weeks in particularly regards to that special smelly somebody.

Sure i make jokes and i act like a complete and utter retard a lot of the time, but chantel understands me and actually sees all of me. not just one side. I've never spent an insanely large amount of time with just one person before until now, and at the same time i've never felt so happy for it. To feel the kind of companionship and joy that she has brought to me has been the best experience ever. and that is a gross understatement.

I've been laying on the work quite thick lately, and i've rarely had any time to do anything at all, in the sense that work has made me so tired and de-motivated that by the time its finished i literally don't feel like doing anything..BUT just the thought of seeing chantel afterwards or knowing that i'm going to spend day after day with her has gotten me by this entire time when i otherwise would have surely collapsed and been found lifeless in the painting aisle. She gives me a burst of energy and motivation like i've never felt before, because the feeling that i get just from being around her is enough to make me neglect tiredness, laziness, the feeling that i want to do anything else..i don't mean to say that im obsessed or a stalker or some sort of love-crazed freak, i'm just writing what i feel exactly as i feel it. which is why talking about chantel is the easiest thing of all. i don't have to lie or hide anything as one might usually do on a blog, i just have to follow my heart and the rest follows along.

my life is constantly changing, and i'm unsure as to where it will go from month to month with uni coming up and with changing trends from spending day after day watching junk on ninja, to working out at the gym, to cycling, to reading to anything..but now i have something constant. now i have something which i know will always be there, and the feeling of safety that i get from that and the feeling of solitude when everything else might be in disarray is remarkable, and the only thing that i can think about and the only thing that has been on the forefront of my mind for the past three weeks is that i want to always be there for chantel too, and that i would rather see her every single day than watch a million episodes of any programme on ninja if given the choice. thats just to put things into perspective, obviously i still do my guy stuff.. like act like a retard around dylan, like play guitar and watching movies and tv and bla bla because that is integrated into the person that i am. all im saying is that im a new person now because i have chantel, i have someone to hold on to and cherish which i didnt have before, and that to me is worth more than any material thing...even the best movies, like superbad the pink panther 2 and sex drive! :D

i make the best omellette ever, and this one time i was making one with chantel except i used too much milk and the heat was too high so it burnt and tasted not as good as expected, nor was it shaped too good...as a result i ruined my maiden chance of looking like the best chef ever as i claimed to be. ¬¬

i can be sitting around randomly and i will always know when chantel wants a drink or is feeling hungry or she wants to do something different like the movie we're watching sucks or something, and this, trust me people, is because i am a genuine psychic. i trained david blaine and he called me master whilst bowing to me, then i watched him and derren brown do a dance for me at my will :D muhahah!!

i am able to make my hands sweat at will, and whilst chantel thinks this is the most useless super power ever, it infact is subordinate to creating dandruff at will, which until something better is found, is the current most useless power ever :D

chantel's dog rosie is by far cuter than pippin, my dog, but that does not mean to say pippin has the cutest feet ever and is able to sit on my command! come on!! how awesome is that :P hehe i hope to spend AT LEAST 30 days of every-day contact with chantel given that the current chain is already nearly half of that :P i think it is safe to say that my discipline and just general amazingness more than suffices for such a challenge :D although im guessing i get most of that from chantel, the amazing half of the relationship! i'm just the zoolander that stands around looking pretty apparently hehe except im also super clever as i have a phD in being awesome and taking a stupid amount of pictures of myself o.O i can also cook, clean, iron my clothes, clean my room, walk my dog and roll-over when asked. (only chantel can take advantage of these numerous utilities) :D this reminds me of UltraBot 2000, something which used to super annoy her because it was so dorky, but i guess i am quite dorky so its okay haaha! i've noticed that im blabbing, however there is some point to my blab. im reminiscing and in doing so reminding myself that chantel makes me laugh, smile, giggle and feel like although im a dorky weirdo im actually a crazy awesome person who's dorky and weird :D i could continue but this is exceedingly long and im very sleepy :P so on this note, i leave an extract from my latest novel: Friar Dylan and his Misadventures Volume I. enjoy!

"The rain began to fall harder as Friar Dylan stared out of the window, glancing every now and then at the clock on the mantle as to ensure he gets his eight hours, and as the clock struck midnight he closed his eyes. He had spent most of his time attempting, but not succeeding, to find some fulflillment in an otherwise monotonous and depressing period of his life. He even attempted speed-dating to no avail as it appears a religious career isn't one which caters to the gold-digging/speed-dating demographic, which is the majority of the women in his small town, Shamshamville. They want someone valiant, chivalrous, dangerous and exciting...like a knight of the round table for example, to sweep them off their desperate feet. It was only during a walk in the local forest to collect nuts for his cupcake-baking shinanigans, that he felt compelled to role-play. He pranced back and forth in between the trees, grinning wildly as he did so whilst his brown standard issue cloak fluttered around behind him, like a majestic gazelle chasing after some tasty rabbits."

chantel, i am all yours :) xxx