illness is just an excuse

well..im sitting here in my room writing a new post on my blog whilst i should be at school doing computing coursework, because i've fallen under the wrath of the most annoying illness known to man... i became ill so suddenly on saturday night, that it was almost as though my immune system decided it doesn't give a shit anymore and gave the flu virus a really detailed step-by-step guide on how to cause me the most suffering within the space of a single evening..it ruined my plans of going to the pub and resultantly i mustered enough strength to see the worst film ever made. ever; "Knowing" with Nicolas Cage...in fact i can summarise it as follows:

Nicolas Cage: "mmm..lots of dates on a large piece of paper! let me drink some more whiskey in my basement"

Skeptical Friend: "those dates are meaningless!"

Nicolas Cage: "those dates aren't meaningless!!"

Blonde Alien Man: *whisper whisper whisper*

Skeptical Friend: "omg your right those dates are meaningful! shit tell some people"

Nicolas Cage: "shit its too late we're all going to die..hey! that's my son!"

Blonde Alien Man: *whisper whisper*

Nicolas Cage: "Don't touch my son!"

Blonde Alien Man: *whisper whisper* *flies away in spacecraft*

BOOM! the entire universe explodes.

the end.

as a matter of fact, that film was so bad, that i think it pissed off the flu virus that had just started getting cosy inside me and made it punish me for watching such a movie via rapid sneezing and making my eyes feel like they've just been put into the microwave...that was on saturday night, and its now monday afternoon and im only just beginning to feel slightly better after downing caps and caps of "Benalyn for Flu" medicine. At the same time im feeling the weight of guilt for not doing my computing coursework as i write this, knowing that the deadline is nearing..but on the other hand its given me the flexibility to go take a nap now so i have more energy to work on it tomorrow, double-speed!

i said in my last post that i would build on some of the things i mentioned in greater depth, like perhaps revealing to everybody my entire psyche in the space of a few paragraphs..unfortunately im unsure as to how to go about doing that, but i will say a few things that are the somewhat 'highlights' of my life at the moment: my mother has signed my up to play live music in the local pubs and bars, despite the fact that i can't sing or atleast i can but not well enough to please a group of drunken people brandishing easily breakable-into-weapon beer bottles and glasses. i fear for my life. and secondly, what would they like to listen to? because the only song ive heard recently coming from those places is Living On A Prayer by Bon Jovi and like hell am i playing that...in terms of relationships, i don't think that's going anywhere partially because anyone that i would remotely have a chance with already has a boyfriend, and everyone else i just don't have a chance with. im not sure why that is but the more you think about and try to rationalise things like that the more it becomes likened to asking yourself something like "what is the meaning of the universe?" i.e. don't bother. i just be myself, thats all i can be. and myself is random and quirky subtly blended in with nerdiness and unusual hobbies, not to say that i actively seek out to portray myself like that.

The point is that in my experience nobody can truly know what everybody wants and what everybody is looking for, because if that was the case everybody would be perspectively perfect, almost as though they are psychic or like Mel Gibson from that movie What a Woman Wants. "you know sarah..i like poetry, long walks on the beach and riding bikes.." reply "omg lewis! me too what are the chances? we get on so well now because we have so much in common that we should totally go out!"..in a perfect world maybe. but in my opinion i think there is an element of chance in finding relationships...in my experience i find that moulding yourself into what you think a person likes or is looking for does no good because that person will always be a fabrication..its about those moments that happen just on the spur of the occasion, such as when the girl drops her books and you go to pick them up as she does and you bang heads and both giggle, its a huge cliche` but you get the point. so recently, ive decided to save myself the torment of trying to understand why it is that jerks and people that treat girls like crap always end up, ironically, getting the girl.

perhaps in some ways it is true that nice guys finish last but if its a race out of a nice guy and a bunch of assholes, i think its worth the wait as opposed to turning to the darkside and conforming to the idea that girls "love bad guys" just so you can finish first but instead of winning a gold medal you win an aluminium medal painted gold. i dont care how amazing the girl is, nothing is worth becoming a 'bad guy' over when you can wait and find someone who likes 'nice guys' which you are and her being your real gold medal.

in conclusion, that was a bit of a long detour to taking the road labelled "Main Point", but just be yourself. don't be saddened when your unlucky in life because there is always a balance and something good will happen in its place eventually, and humour truly is the best medicine.

until next time, thank you for reading :)